Say it isn't so...

This was a disappointing weekend in the men department and not for the reasons you're probably thinking. Friday night at dinner my friend told a story about her boyfriend's co-worker who died while skiing recently (please be careful all my snowbunny friends). He was married with a few kids and apparently that wasn't enough for him b/c he was also sleeping with some girls in his office. I pray that his wife never has to find out. It's bad enough that she's now a young widow, but to also have to deal with knowing he hadn't been faithful and not get any answers from him.

Saturday night's dinner conversation was also disheartening. A woman from my friend's wine club found out in October that her husband of 5 years (she thought she had married a good, quiet, decent man) had been seeing a 28 year old for 18 months. The husband and wife had a two year old daughter who knew the 28 year old girlfriend and would call her Titi. When the little girl would say this in front of her mom, the husband would say that's how she says taxi. The girlfriend was planning their wedding and new nothing about him being married. He told her that the wife was the mother of his child and they had a really good relationship. The husband and wife were renovating an apt in the city, but the girlfriend was under the impression that she was moving into this apt with the guy when it was done. She was even packing up her apt. When it was getting close the guy showed her a picture of a burned down apt building and told her there had been a fire. He was also having a house built upstairs so would tell whoever he wasn't with that he was at the house when he wasn't with them. The girlfriend became suspicious and ultimately found an e-mail b/w the husband and wife. She sent his family, her family and the wife an e-mail when she realized telling them that she had no idea and he was psychologically messed up. This story creates so many questions. How do you recover from that level of deception? Why would he go through all the trouble and lead a life full of lies? It couldn't have been fun. How were two seemingly intelligent women unaware for 18 months?

I know that these are extreme situations, but it does make me wonder how extreme. It's just so sad and so many people are involved. As someone who would never cheat, I can't even begin to understand what would make someone do something so awful to someone they once loved.

Changing topics sort of (still on the topic of men) I'm going to tell the story about Sway and the latest with him. Sway is a guy I met one night in December. The night started at Christine's apartment and 5 bottles of champagne for 6 girls. At midnight we headed out to Anchor Bar, which was a really fun bar so if you're ever visiting and I can't think of somewhere to go remind me of this place. The only bad part was the bathroom, but Christine and Ruda solved that problem by using the bathroom at the bar across the street. They convinced the rest of us to head there b/c the guys were better looking. No one really remembers much after that point. I know shots were involved and I thought everyone looked like a vampire (I had seen New Moon earlier in the day). All I remember is waking up the next morning with no clothes on and both my foot and head were throbbing. I got out of bed, looked at my foot and saw that I had a half moon shaped wound (vampire bite?) As the day wore on we began to piece together the rest of the night. The wound was a result of a Jersey shore fist pumping incident. We had to google map the second bar to find out the name (Sway). I also vaguely remembered giving out my phone #, but didn't remember having any sort of conversation with anyone at the second bar. Later that night I got a text confirming the fact that I had given out my #. He asked me out and we went on our first date about a week later. It was pretty much a blind date b/c I had no clue what he looked like. I arrived first and every guy that walked in I stared down. Finally he showed up and it kind of came back to me. Anyway we had a good time and hung out 2 more times, but that's a total of 3 times over 2 months. The last time we hung out was about a month ago. We never spoke on the phone. Everything over text. A week ago this past Thursday he asked me out for last week. I said yes and then nothing. I'm really over it at this point. He was nice enough, but give me a break. Then last night he has the nerve to send me a text with some lame excuse (and apologies) about being stuck in the midwest this past weekend. I don't care. We didn't have plans for the weekend and if he had really wanted to see me he would have picked up the phone and explained. Today my 42 year old co-worker was asking when I was going out with him again and I told him I wasn't. I told him the story and he was like that's your generation, all about texting. I was like that's why I need to date someone from his generation. :-)

So I'm hoping the universe sends someone to restore my faith in men. Is it really so hard to find a good guy, who will be honest and will pick up the telephone from time to time? I'm willing to wait...